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Psuke Bariah

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06:26 pm: Still here...
Still not entirely happy about it, but I'm trying to use this "dead time" to develop some habits I've been wanting to cultivate for awhile. Like writing down my dreams first thing. Walking. The good thing about this area, there's some good walking spots. And the middle brother (who is also here) is a fitness nut. So I have a reminder to walk, and I do. Not every day, but most days.

There are other habits I haven't quite managed to get to stick yet. Like writing (aside from dreams) or drawing. And I've not done any fitness stuff other than the walking. But one thing at a time, yeah? And there's a good chance that once I decide I've had it up to here with this place...I've got someplace to land in the Bay Area. There's a chance I may have an occasional place to stay in SF, too, but I've not contacted that person yet. Baby steps.

I took a gamble and lost...rather painfully (and in the hidden details, personally humiliatingly), but I refuse to roll over and play dead. Or safely standard. No offense to the people who roll that way, but it's pure poison to me. Then again, I don't really want to starve while living a life sorta kiddie corner to the rest. Ill find that happy medium, even if I have to make it myself, dammit!

Current Mood: determineddetermined
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