You are viewing the most recent 10 entries
April 29th, 2013
I keep expecting to see him when I'm out. Logically this is highly improbable because a) Venice *is* a city and randomly running into someone is therefore statistically small, and b) unlikely he's even *in* this part of the state, assuming he's in the state at all.
Then again, no one claimed emotions are rational. They're sort of famous for being the opposite.
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
Current Location: Los Angeles, Main St, 222
April 7th, 2013
Still not entirely happy about it, but I'm trying to use this "dead time" to develop some habits I've been wanting to cultivate for awhile. Like writing down my dreams first thing. Walking. The good thing about this area, there's some good walking spots. And the middle brother (who is also here) is a fitness nut. So I have a reminder to walk, and I do. Not every day, but most days.
There are other habits I haven't quite managed to get to stick yet. Like writing (aside from dreams) or drawing. And I've not done any fitness stuff other than the walking. But one thing at a time, yeah? And there's a good chance that once I decide I've had it up to here with this place...I've got someplace to land in the Bay Area. There's a chance I may have an occasional place to stay in SF, too, but I've not contacted that person yet. Baby steps.
I took a gamble and lost...rather painfully (and in the hidden details, personally humiliatingly), but I refuse to roll over and play dead. Or safely standard. No offense to the people who roll that way, but it's pure poison to me. Then again, I don't really want to starve while living a life sorta kiddie corner to the rest. Ill find that happy medium, even if I have to make it myself, dammit!
Current Mood: determined
February 28th, 2013
Well, now...that was interesting.:
Except, not really. Traumatic. Tragic, even. Not for me. Unpleasant in the extreme, and there was some heartbreak, but I mend fast. Still not ready to talk about it. May never really talk about it...just one of those things, one of those life mistakes, you know? If only we were as smart as we thought we were...
The main thing is that the week I gave myself to mope after ending up in the house of my mother is very nearly up, and I am feeling much better. It's now all about what to do next. And next time, I'd like to make a better mistake. A different mistake even. Isn't that a Breszny line? Better, brighter more sparkly mistakes? Something like that, anyway.
At least it's pretty here. So very, very green, and the ocean is, as always, amazing.
In fact, if the scenery were all that counted I wouldn't mind staying here...unfortunately, the scenery doesn't pay, nor can it be eaten. Doesn't provide much of a social circle either, since I don't speak the language of the animals. Pity, that.
Oddly enough, I feel as though a weight has been lifted. I feel rather more hopeful than I have in ages. It's not perpetual, it comes and goes...but to be feeling it at all is an improvement.
So here's to the future!
Current Location: the piney coast
Current Mood: curious
August 10th, 2012
Something interesting I have noticed since beginning to cook vegan and making my own...well, everything practically (not tofu or tempeh, yet)...and shopping at the not-prissy/yuppy farmers market is that my grocery bills have gone way down. :
I used to budget about $90 a week and wonder if I could make it stretch (yes, just for me...I can eat a lot of food, you know?) and now I have leftover food money at the end of each pay period. I think I'm spending half of what I used to.
Of course, it's possible that will go up again when Summer's over and all that fresh produce is gone. I suspect, though, that I'll still be spending less than I do now. Maybe I should stock up on beans, etc, while I've got surplus funds...
July 27th, 2012
Now that I'm not quite scrambling with food prep (I'm actually relatively comfortable ATM, food-wise) I'm totally at a loss as to what to do next. I have chores...there's always chores...I just can't/won't remember what they are, or when they ought to be done. :
It's somewhat disconcerting and uncomfortable to be so disconnected from one's own life, even when it was done more or less on purpose.
Luckily, the cats are more than happy to step up and absorb my extra time with pets. Kitty time sink!
May 6th, 2012
Saw these guys perform at the Lost Church last night and thoroughly enjoyed them. Sort of Southwestern Gothic? If you get a chance to see them I suggest you do. Here's : their bandcamp, for just a small taste.
April 9th, 2012
I need to get out more - I could have sworn I had social skills once. Besides the shallow 5 minute conversation, I mean. I can fake that with the best of them. :
January 30th, 2012
Holy crap, I have access to a lot of online libraries through Stnford. Amazing what you can find out when looking for other things. If you're paying attention, of course... :